Pie is Not a Jock
by Soccer-Geek
Summary: After Kish and Tart tell Pie that Lettuce mentioned off-hand to the other Mews that she'd like to date a soccer player, Pie decides to become one. However, it doesn't quite work out the way he planned for it to... One-Shot featuring a slightly OOC Pie at certain points.


**I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew or it's characters.**

Pie is Not a Jock

"Pie!"

Pie ignored his youngest brother's calls from outside his bedroom door.

"Pi-ie!"

Pie still ignored it and continued on with his work.

"Pie-pie-pie-pie-pie-pie-pie-pie-pie-pie-!"

Finally, Pie sighed and put down his book and went to the door.

"What, Taruto?" Pie demanded, looking down at the short boy.

"Guess where Kish and I just were?" Tart said, grinning

"Well, if you were with Kishu, that means it had something to do with Mew Ichigo," Pie said, leaning against the doorframe. "So why were you stalking the poor girl today?"

"Well, it turns out, the little Mew Mews were having a party at the Café," Kish said, coming down the hall with a grin. "They were staring at this little box with pictures that moved. It was a broadcast of a game of a sport called 'soccer', and it was a pretty important game too. They were all wearing the colors of the Japanese team."

"And you came to tell me this drivel because?" Pie said, unimpressed.

"Because we heard the green one say that it would be nice to date a soccer player," Tart said.

Pie tried to not show his interest in what Mew Lettuce had to say. If Kish and Tart learned that he thought she was attractive, they would never let him hear the end of it.

"So?" Pie said emotionlessly.

"So the other Mew Mews agreed, including Ichigo!" Kish said, his eyes gleaming. He clasped his hands together and his grin got wider. "Now I finally have a way to tear Ichigo away from that baka tree-hugger!"

Pie and Tart watched as Kish slipped into what they called 'Ichigo-Land', where he got a goofy grin and big, glassy eyes. Pie turned to Tart.

"And you?" He asked.

"I think there's a way to make the monkey cry from all this 'soccer' stuff!" Tart said, a wicked gleam in his eye. "I'll become the best soccer player ever, and beat her favorite soccer team and she'll be so crushed she'll bawl like a baby!" He rubbed his hands together manically.

"Or, at least, like you did last week when I took away your desert for blowing up my lab," Pie said dryly. Tart scowled at him.

"I did not cry!" Tart screamed.

"You threw a tantrum so large, you nearly destroyed the kitchen," Pie reminded him.

"I did not!" Tart screamed as he stomped his foot, tears in his eyes, and then he teleported away.

Pie shook his head and glanced at Kish, who was still in Ichigo-Land and giggling as he said "Oh, kitten, I never knew you felt that way about me". Pie rolled his eyes and stepped back into his room.

Knowing that Kish wouldn't snap out of it for a while and that Tart was going to be sulking in his room, Pie pulled out his computer and started researching this mysterious game of soccer. If Mew Lettuce liked soccer players, he would become a soccer player.

Three hours later, Pie knew the rules and techniques of soccer and had watched an entire game online. Pie nodded to himself. Now all he needed was a soccer ball…

So, he teleported out and 'borrowed' a soccer ball from a sports shop and took it to a secluded clearing in a small park.

Pie set the new ball on the ground and took a few steps back. He gave a rare grin.

"This is all too easy," He said out-loud to himself. "After all, how hard is it to kick a stupid ball?"

After taking a deep breath, he took a running start, planning on kicking the ball.

He was almost at the ball, he got ready to kick it…

And missed the ball entirely, slipped on a small patch of acorns he could have sworn weren't there before, and landed flat on his back.

After pain, the first thing to register in Pie's brain was,

_At least Kishu and Taruto did not see that. They would never let me forget this._

At that point, he thought the only thing that could have made that worse was having his brothers there to watch.

"Pie-Kun?"

Pie groaned inwardly. Scratch that last thought. _This_ was the only thing that could make this embarrassing situation worse.

Pie looked up to see Mew Lettuce—in her human form—standing over him, her big blue eyes full of concern.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

"I believe I am," Pie said, sitting up quickly in hope that she didn't see his red cheeks.

"What were you doing out here?" Lettuce asked, watching him climb to his feet.

"Nothing!" Pie said quickly with a tone of panic. Lettuce's brow furrowed.

"Um, okay," She said. Then she noticed the soccer ball and stepped over to it, kicking it back over towards where Pie was standing. "Do you play?"

"Um, no," Pie said, his cheeks heating again. "Just thought I would try it out."

"Try it out?" Lettuce repeated curiously.

"Yes," Pie said. "You know. Exercise. All that good stuff."

"Soccer is good exercise," Lettuce agreed. She shifted the ball from foot to foot. "I used to play when I was little. I loved it, even though I didn't score many goals and often got stripped of the ball. One coach once said that I was the only kid he ever knew who could find every single little hole in the field in less than sixty minutes."

"Do you play now?" Pie asked.

"Only with my brother and cousins at family gatherings," Lettuce admitted. "It's usually safer for me and everyone else if I stick to my books."

"I know that feeling," Pie said, then regretted it because Lettuce asked,

"What do you mean?"

"To be honest, the only sport I ever excelled in as a child was martial arts," Pie admitted. "I was a failure with everything else and proved to be a danger for both my teammates as well as the other team. Therefore, I have done my fair share of sitting on the sidelines with my nose in a book over the years."

"Sounds like we're both good at being bench warmers," Lettuce said with a shy smile.

"That it does," Pie said. "I do not believe I have or ever will be referred to as what you humans call a 'jock'."

"That's okay," Lettuce said, her smile growing some. "I prefer smart martial artists, anyways."

Pie searched his very large brain for a response, but he didn't have to. Lettuce placed the soccer ball in his hands.

"I need to get home," She said. "I'll see you later, I guess?"

"Yes," Pie said, still trying to remain calm. "You will."

Lettuce smiled brightly at him again, then left the clearing. Pie watched her leave with a smile. However, that smile quickly disappeared as he heard voices from the trees.

"Nice job with the acorns there, Tart. And love the extra touch of getting it all on film."

"Thanks, Kish, but how you made up the story about Mew Lettuce liking soccer players, then luring her here to see this? Simply beautiful."

Pie glared up at his brothers, who sat on a tree branch, grinning.

"Start running," He growled.

Tart and Kish's grins quickly disappeared and they teleported, Tart to go beg Mew Pudding to hide him under her bed, and Kish to do the same at Ichigo's, but without the begging and just doing it to the cat girl's fury.

The pests gone, Pie tucked the soccer ball under his arm. He smiled again. He still had time to catch up to Lettuce…


End file.
